Hey Joy, I am not sure if it was you who reblogged this but I remember a post going around about how the concept of 'the first time having sex hurts a woman' was made popular by romance novels as a sign of change. Could you maybe point me toward it or ask your followers about it? Thank you! Anyway, sorry, that went off on a tangent. Some girls dont have hymens!
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Everybody's hymen looks different. Even the most experienced doctors cannot distinguish a 'virgin' hymen from a 'non-virgin' hymen. Some people are born without hymens entirely, and the size of the hole in the middle of the hymen can vary a lot, irrelevant to whether the vagina has been penetrated or not. The first time the hymen is stretched to let a penis or anything else in, it can be painful, but this is just one source of pain and usually not the main one. The hymen can be quite noticeable when you're very young, but due to hormones, by the time you're around 25 your hymen probably will have shrunk technical term: atrophied to a size where it's barely noticeable at all, whether you've had sex or not.